Why Are We Alive?
by MikaNika
Summary: Takes place after Andy's arrival to Zihuatanejo. Where he meets a woman who's gone through as much hell as himself. Was it possible for a man like him to love again? To trust a woman again? He failed once at love, which caused his entire life to turn around. What would happen if he failed twice?
1. Introductions

** I felt somewhat disappointed that there wasn't any Andy/OC stories so I decided to write my own. Mostly in one-shots. My OC looks somewhat like Eva Mendes from that Pines movie, but you can imagine her anyway you want.**

**This is just an intro not really a chapter.**

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**Anza's POV**

He appeared out of nowhere.

He was tall, blue-eyed and greying man.

He called himself Tim.

I met him whilst I was walking along the beach, he was on top of an old dead boat, looking out at the sunset. When he saw me stop and stare at him he nearly fell back from the surprise interruption, as if I caught him in a private moment. I simply gave him a wave, turned around and walked home.

It was like that for a few days.

It wasn't until the fifth interruption that he finally decided to greet me.

"Good evening miss, I felt it was time to introduce myself."

He had a calming voice, not much emotion to it. It sent a chill down my spine.

"My names Tim, I just moved here." He held out his hand and I simply stared at him, he was taller than I thought. Like he could step on me. I squeezed my _huaraches _in my hand and slowly backed away from his hand. I saw that worry in his eyes and I smiled at the ground.

"I'm Anza, it's nice to meet you I guess. Even though you did take the best area of this entire beach."

He didn't say anything, he just stared at me the same way I stare at a bug I just killed.

"It's nice here. Away from everyone." I took a deep breath of the salty air then tried to find the thing he was staring at but all I saw was the sunset. Nothing more than the sunset.

* * *

**Andy's POV**

Anza was her name. She was beautiful, not the kind of beautiful I was used to.

My former wife was beautiful, with her pale skin and chestnut brown hair, I remember her eyes were a sad blue color. She was a kind woman, but insecure and a bit too obsessed with appearances; she did always dress richer than we were.

But this girl, Anza, was a beauty that wouldn't really be recognized in my former life. Dark tanned skin, dark hair, dark brown eyes. She wore clothes that complimented the heat, her long legs leaving little to the imagination and her hair long and flowing. I hadn't seen a woman like that in so long I felt my heart race from the sight of her. I understand now that depraved longing institutionalized men felt seeing someone like her. But I wasn't a monster.

She carried her sandals in her hand, it seemed she liked to feel the sand with her bare feet. When I introduced myself I frightened her which made me feel guilty for even approaching her. But then she spoke back to me with good English and smiled. Before leaving she quickly stared out at the waves, unimpressed.

Hopefully she wouldn't come around much.

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**Review please! :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**Want to say thanks to my first reviewer! I really appreciate it! :)**

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Chapter 1

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Anza had now known Tim for almost seven months, he was her best friend. At least to her, she wasn't so sure what she was to him other than a friendly acquaintance. She met with him two days out of the week and any other day she wasn't working at the restaurant. She liked talking to him and he liked talking to her, they learned from each other. He taught her how to play chess and she taught him how to swim. They ate together, fished together and even went into town together to go grocery shopping or just to see the tourist and locals.

Tim was very smart, he also seemed to enjoy the small things, like nature. He also had money, which he said he inherited from his dead father, his small but fancy beach house was nice, it was on private property he owned. He had two bedrooms, which he mentioned was for his friend he was waiting for. She often wondered about the mysterious friend Tim always seemed to be waiting for, and hoped to meet if he ever showed up.

Today was his birthday, he had unintentionally told her a few months back that he was born the same day as some dead guy named Nietzsche.

Anza decided to get him a present, knowing he was a thoughtful guy so she choose to give him a handmade journal she made herself. When she was in high school she learned how to make paper and decided to put that skill to use. She covered it in black cow hide and on the inside stuck a cheap pen from the hotel restaurant she worked in.

"Off to see that boyfriend of yours Anza?"

Anza turned at her jolly old boss giving him her harshest glare.

"He isn't my boyfriend Guillermo, he's just my friend, is it so hard to believe a woman and man can be friends and nothing more?"

"Right, right. Im sure, thats why you started to wear makeup and skirts. For friendship. Don't be ashamed. Love is a beautiful thing! And of all the people in the world it happened to you!"

Rolling her eyes and resisting the urge to show her boss her middle finger, Anza grabbed her bag and Tim's present and headed off to the beach.

Love? How ridiculous, she barely knew anything about Tim personally, she just knew his hobbies and how book smart he was. Thats all they ever seemed to talk about. Nothing personal ever came up, which Anza liked. Otherwise if he had talked about his personal life she knew it would possibly obligate her to talk about her own. That was the last thing she wanted, better Tim see Anza as his friendly acquaintance then someone else.

* * *

There he was, on top of the old dead boat as usual. He looked over to her, always with the disappointment on his face that she wasn't the mysterious old friend he was waiting for. Nonetheless he jumped on down to meet with her.

"Anza. How are you today?" He gave her his empty, haunting smile that went right through her.

"Im fine. I have a surprise for you!" She said excitedly.

"Im not a fan of surprises."

"Well your getting it wether you like it or not so here." She handed him the journal casually like a mailman hands over a letter.

"Oh, its very nice. But you shouldn't have spent money on me."

"I made it myself. Im good at more than just swimming you know." Anza said back to him while she plopped down on the sand and took off her old sandals.

"Really?" Andy studied the gift, he had never seen something like it. He remembered his collection of leather journals he had for work and personal use. But they were all the same, copies of one another from the same manufacturer. Unlike the gift he was given, it was unique, sturdy and thoughtful.

"Thank you, but, what's the occasion?" He asked as she looked up at him with a raised brow.

"Its your birthday." She said nonchalantly.

"Oh...so it is." Andy completely forgot, he didn't hate his birthday, there just never seemed to be any real reason to celebrate it, especially after his imprisonment.

"How did you know my birthday?" He raised an eyebrow suspiciously at the girl sticking her fist in the wet sand.

"You said you had the same birthday as that 'Neechee' writer, it took me forever to find the guys bio in the library. Almost as long as it took me to figure out there was a library in this town. Did you seriously forget your birthday?" She asked curiously, who forgot their own birthday?

"I never needed to celebrate it after a certain point in my life." He said neutrally, again with little emotion.

"How sad. Oh well, I guess we can break that tradition." There was a silence between them, Andy looked this gift again and Anza mindlessly played with the sand.

"So...how old are you today?" She asked breaking the silence, Andy had to think about it for a moment.

"47." Andy answered and paused once again. "It sounds ancient...saying it aloud."

Anza looked up at him then back down at the wet sand pile she was making.

"I feel ya, makes you wonder where it all went. The time I mean." Anza whispered as she buried her toes in the sand.

They stared at one another, eyes empty until Anza looked away and Andy opened his mouth to now ask her the question.

"May I ask your age?"

"Im 38." She said in a monotone voice.

"Really? I assumed you were in your 20's."

"Yes, I tend to act younger than I am."

"I meant your appearance."

"Oh that. Yes, I am a very 'hot' woman." Anza chuckled, showing her gleaming smile that took Andy aback.

She stayed sitting in the sand while Andy stood next to her, the silence continued to interrupt them both for what seemed like forever.

"Isn't it weird that we've known each other for almost a eight months and we hardly know each other?"

"Why is it weird?"

"I dunno, I mean...whats your favorite TV show?

"I never really liked television." He said to her.

"Errr-k, see! At least now I know you don't like TV. How about your favorite drink?"

"Water. Spring water."

_What the fuck kind of answer is that? _Anza thought to herself.

"Whats your favorite type of music?"

"Classical, opera. Not much else."

"Ooook." Anza dug out a tiny shell from the muddy sand then crushed between her fingers.

_Man, he's like a book. Boring._

_Hard ones, Anza. Personal ones._

Without thinking Anza blurted out the most personal thing she could think of.

"Have you ever been in love?" Again, the silence came back.

"Yes. A long time ago. But not anymore." Andy then became curious about Anza.

"What about you?"

"Huh?" Anza was surprised that Andy reacted by asking her.

"Have you ever been in love?" Anza looked at her dirty hands for a minute then out at the horizon.

"No. I...just. Never really cared for it. Men...most men are revolting. Except for you. Your...different. In a good way."

Andy sat down next to her, he hated getting his clothes wet but at the moment he didn't seem to mind.

"Whens your birthday? So I can remember."

"February 9th."

He then wrote the date his new gift, making Anza smile.

"Yup. Your a hard guy to read, like a book that needs a special permission to be read. But that just makes you more interesting."

Anza got up and took off her clothes, leaving her in her faded navy colored one-piece she always wore under her clothes and jumped into the Pacific as Andy watched.

* * *

"That ones Orion and over there is Andromeda."

Andy and Anza had stayed out on the beach together later than they were used to, the sky was extremely clear in the dark city that they could see all the stars scattered perfectly in the sky. Anza had her hands behind her head, laying down on her back on the shore; Andy sat with his legs out and neck craned.

"How can you tell? they all look like dots, the same dots that are always there." Anza said unimpressed yet again, nature never amazed her as it did Andy, she wished she had the same appreciation and mind he had.

"No. Let me see your hand, they make a pattern see?" Leading her hand with his, Andy tried showing her what he saw, Anza did notice a few lines and shapes, but not people or animals.

"Sure...that one looks like a worm on dry land." She laughed.

"Thats 'Ursa Minor'." He corrected

"Where do you get these names?" Anza turned at him

"From books. Ill get you one on astronomy." He smiled, knowing she couldn't see him very well in the dark

"Make sure it has tons of pictures."

Another hour passed, before Andy realized it Anza had fallen asleep.

He kept staring at the stars as the sounds of the ocean relaxed him.

_*Flashback in Anza's Dream*_

_"Aren't you coming too?" A small blonde girl, no older then 12 stood next to a twenty-something Anza._

_"I'm too big, its for someone your size. Thats why I brought you here."_

_The little girl stood shaking, her face was tear stained and her shirt with pink flowers was filthy._

_"Danielle Im gonna left you out,its sort of a high drop, but no more than 6ft. So try to land on your feet."_

_"No, I'm not leaving you!" The girl yelled, Anza gave her an angry look._

_"I'm not letting you stay here another minute!"_

_Before the girl realized it Anza had successfully lifted her up and thrown her out the small opening._

_"Anza!" Danielle landed hard but was uninjured, she looked up at the opening no longer able to see her savior, only hear her._

_"Danielle get away! Go back to your family and don't look back! Just run!" The girl looked around, she was in an abandoned alleyway with a few garbage bags._

_"Anza I'm scared. I'll get help."_

_"No! Just run! Leave! I'm the adult your the kid! You listen to me! Now leave! Don't ever come back!"_

_"But Anza-"_

_"Danielle if you don't leave right now I'll wake Ray up myself and tell him you got out! Now go!" The girl looked over at the opening one last time before running as fast as her feet would let her._

_Anza listened until the noise faded._

_*End Of Flashback*_

"No. No. No. No." Andy turned to see Anza shaking in her sleep and mumbling loudly, it became more intense.

He grabbed her shoulders to stop her violent shaking, she was completely drenched from the water from the shore and the sand stuck to her entire self like glue.

"Get off me!" She lightly hit Andys face before her dark eyes shot open.

"Anza it's me. Tim." She was breathing erratically.

"Tim? Where am I?" Her eyes wandered around in disbelief.

"You fell asleep on the beach I was making sure you were okay." Her eyes wandered around to see he was right

"I-I-I'm so sorry, I have to go." She hastily got away from Andy looking for her bag and shoes on the dark beach.

"It's alright I understand."

Anza paused picking up her now soaking wet bag from the sand.

"Understand what?" She asked in disbelief.

"Having bad dreams." Andy said and she shook her head at him.

"No. You don't. You really don't Tim."

Andy watched as she ran off barefoot into the dark night lit only by the crescent moon and stars.

* * *

Two weeks passed without Anza.

Andy couldn't help but worry where she had been, it felt strange not seeing her, he had grown very fond of her. He liked the sound of her laugh, it was lively and genuine. Instead of sad and sadistic like the ones at Shawshank. He liked how her brown eyes shined in the sun enough to see the black of her pupils. He especially liked how she grabbed his hands to get him to swim to the deeper end of the water; her small dark hands in his large lightly-tanned ones gave him a feeling he never believed he would feel again. Even in the cool water her hands felt warm.

Was this affection? It was only natural he guessed, a man and woman spending an extended period of time together. But she was a beautiful lively woman, what interest would she have in an old man like himself? She was just friendly. Thats it.

"Hey Tim."

There she was, shoeless as usual, wearing a blue tank top and grey shorts. Andy didn't get off his boat.

"Sorry about weirding you out a few weeks ago. I have this anxiety disorder, it mainly happens late at night. Im just sorry you had to see that. And if i said anything to offend you Im sorry." She scratched the back of her head as her long hair blew to the side from the breeze.

"Don't worry. Im not one to judge. I have my own little panic attacks from time to time." He reassured her, he was just upset she didn't come around.

"I was worried where you've been.I thought you were mad at me."

"You were? No, I could never be mad at you. I was bit, preoccupied, but today I wanted to go out somewhere tonight, with you."

"What di you have in mind?" Andy was a little put off by this invite. He tried to avoid going in public a lot, usually when he did he wore a hat and sunglasses by the chance they were looking for him. Not that they could do much to him here.

"Would you like to have dinner together? At my workplace? The foods kinda gross but the desserts really good." Anza asked him, still worried he'd say no.

"Sure. I'd like that." A part of him didn't want to, but another part of him really did.

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End of Chapter 1!


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